Wednesday, December 16, 2015

To all the assholes, douches and toxic people, I say 'good day to you!'

There is 7.3 billion people on earth.  I know this because I googled and Google never lies.  That is a lot of people.  That means there is roughly 3.65 billion men in the world.  Now, for argument sake, lets say 4/10 guys are actually nice.  And not knowing math, that would be 2.9 billion men are assholes.  That is a lot of assholes. 

I am talking about those people in your life that a) you have no clue why they are in your life; b) you seem to feel bad or frustrated or less than what you should feel after talking to them; c)they only talk to you when they have an issue or problem and d) you have thought to yourself more than once 'why exactly am I friends with this person?'  

I seem to have those people in my life and I try to not be in contact with them.  And it seems like it happens more and more, especially when they think they are happening.  As my mother has said before 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.  Well, that road must be paved in gold with all the good intentions out there.  

People are awesome, don't get me wrong.  I love people.  But only when they actually take the time out to understand you, get to know you and are there for you when you need them to be and vice versa.  Moving back to the country has made me realize that I used to (used to being the key word as I have now stopped communicating with them and I feel so much better by doing so) talk with people who never really listened to me and didn't understand what I was going through or what my life consisted of.  

Prime example is this whole conundrum with my education/experience and working up in Canada as a therapist.  TRUST ME PEOPLE - if it was as simple as applying for my license and getting a job, I would be doing that right now.  You need to trust me on this.  But no.  So many people think that it is that easy.  And when I start explaining to them about my education and how my hours from the States don't transfer up and how I need to find a supervisor for the hours that I will work and how I will have to pay that supervisor for the supervised hours and all this jazz, it is like they don't believe me.  Again, TRUST ME ON THIS.  If it was simplier, I would be doing it.  But instead of actually listening to what I am saying and the frustrations I am feeling, they think it is better to just tell me to 'go ahead and do it then'.  Not that simple.  And if you were listening, you would realize that.  So I am just going to stop talking to you now.  Because you are toxic.  And I refuse to have toxic people in my life.  

Then there are those toxic people who make you feel like they are a good friend, but in truth they are a fair weather friend.  They are there when they need an ear to listen or some advice.  For example, if I am having a bad day and I text said friend, it could be four days until I get a response.  But if they are having a bad day and text me, they can expect a response from me that day.  Totally not a fair deal.  Those friends are the worst.  Because what is worse than having a bad day and not feeling like you have friends there to help and support you through them.  (And I am not saying that all my friends are like that because I totally have kick ass friends that do listen to me and I hope they feel like I listen to them as well).  So to these friends who are only there when they need help, I am just going to stop talking to you.  I am going to stop allowing you to take advantage of me.  Because you are toxic.  And I refuse to have toxic people in my life.  

Now, granted, some toxic people you just can't get rid of.  I am talking about family.  They are kind of with you throughout your life.  You can, however, distance yourselves from them.  Talk to them only when necessary.  Take those steps to protect yourself but you can't get rid of them entirely.  Well you could I guess.  People have in the past.  But personally, I could not.  Even though they could tell me extremely hurtful things (like disown me for example), they are still family.  However, in that sense, I just distance myself.  Build up my defences again, make sure I am in a position where I can be around said family members and then distance myself again.  It is about self preservation.  And not giving a shit when something happens in their life because they shouldn't expect anything from you judging on how they treated you in the past.  So, in terms of dealing with toxic people who you can't necessarily push out of your life, adopt the 'I don't give a shit' mentality.  It helps.  And works. 

By getting rid of toxic people, I have decreased the amount of people I have in my life.  Drastically.  If this was high school, I would be the loner with only a couple of friends.  And guess what, I was that person in high school.  I like quality, not quantity.  It is the same on Facebook. I will go through purges on Facebook - if we haven't posted something on each others wall, commented on a status or a picture in the past x amount of months, then I don't need to be friends with you.  Plain and simple.  I don't care if I have 100 friends or 10 friends.  Those 10 friends are much better people than the 100 combined.  And that is who you need to surround yourself with.  Because those people matter.  Those people will know you.  Will know what you are going through, will know what you want in your life, will know what to do when you need to laugh or smile and will be there with you when you need to cry.  Those people are the people you need in your life. 

Surround yourself with happiness.  Toxic people will drag you down.  They will make you feel like shit.  They will make you feel empty and alone.  And who wants that?  Nobody. Nobody wants that.  So don't get it.  Stand up for yourself and don't worry about the amount of friends you have.  Worry about the quality of friendships.  Because that is what matters.  

Moral of this blog:  F*#k It and say 'fuck you, good day, adios, arrivederci' to all those toxic people in your life.  Surround yourself with happiness. 

Thursday, December 3, 2015

When the Zombie Apocalypse hits, Who Will You Be?

I have been watching a lot of The Walking Dead recently (which, if you know me, seems kind of strange and odd since I cannot stand scary movies or people dressed up but for some reason zombie movies or tv shows I am okay with).  Walking Dead is a pretty good show, even though I am not sure if it is *that good* that is has the following and fan base that it does.  However, watching the show has made me question my morals and ethics and my personality and how they would all relate if/when the zombie apocalypse hits us.  

First and foremost, I think that if I (and others) survived the zombie apocalypse, I would make a killing as a therapist because mostly everyone will have PTSD from the event.  I mean, how could you not - you are probably killing people you have known your whole life, have to be aware of what could be around every corner or tree or door or window and basically fend for yourself every waking (and sleeping, but I suggest not sleeping if you could do it) moment of your life.  That has got to take its toll on a person.  

However, after the apocalypse hits, how will that have changed people?  Would they see the world as a place that is going to hell in a handbasket? Will they be grateful of everything they have and the life that they can live?  I really don't know what I would be like.  I would like to think that I would appreciate my life, but how could I not flinch or panic if I am with a boy and he leans in to kiss me and my first instinct is to blow his head off because I think he is trying to eat me?  Lots of counselling will be needed I think.  

During the apocalypse though, what would happen?  I think I would need to get over my fear of everything and not jump or scream when I hear a noise as that for surely would attract the zombies to my location.  My first instinct would be to curl up in the fetal position but that would result in my untimely death.  So if not the fetal position, what would I do/who would I be?  Lets go through the stereotypical characters most often seen in horror movies (I pulled these characters from websites):   
  • The Non-Believer - I think if I saw a rotted corpse come walking towards me, I would believe it was a zombie.  The whole 'seeing is believing' mentality would be shot out of water in an instant.  There are such things as zombies when one is trying to bite your face off.  Start believing in a heartbeat or else you will struggle through the apocalypse.  
  • The couple having sex - well a) I would need to have a boy and b) it would have to be in a very, very secluded spot that has no chance of zombies encountering us.  Cause how bad would that suck to turn into a zombie and be naked.  They aren't that intelligent to be know how to put clothes on.  
    • as a side note to The Walking Dead - how come there aren't any naked zombies?  Are you telling me that whenever people turned/died/whatnot, they were all wearing clothes?  I know for a fact that a lot of people sleep naked.  I find this highly improbable that there are no naked zombies.  
  • The Blonde - well I am blond.  So I have that working against me.  But I would think I have more smarts than the stereotypical blond and actually have the brains to not do dumb shit when facing zombies.  Or just doing dumb shit that could have me facing zombies.  
  • The Jock - I play volleyball.  But unless I am setting the ball to the zombie or throwing the ball in their face, my sports skills wouldn't come in handy.  I also hate running.  And I am pretty sure my knees and hips would give out and I would be zombie bait.  I would be the person that people want to run with so they know they would get away.  
  • The Loner - I like to think myself as a loner but I think when it comes to the zombie apocalypse, it would be better to be in a group.  You need someone who has your back cause it would be a pretty desolate place if it is you against a hundred zombies.  Don't be stupid and find people to help you survive.  
  • The Redneck -  Not me at all.  But definitely would hunt one down to stick with as this guy would make it through with no problems.  
  • The Sexy Bitch -  I wouldn't be running around the world in something sexy.  My first order of business would be to find comfy pants and a tank top or something.  If I am running from zombies, it won't be done in high heels. 
  • The girl that never wants to leave the house - YES!!!! That would totally be me.  Why leave if you are safe?  Besides the fact that a) I would run out of food b) I would run out of water c) I would have no electricity d) I would be all alone e) the zombies could break down my door or window to get to me and then I would be a trapped rat.  So let's rethink this idea.  
So who would I be?  A combination of the above.  But I think my psych brain would be going into overdrive getting people to try to relax and calm down and not go on murderous rampages when they feel like there is no end.  

Sometimes, and not just the zombie apocalypse, we are faced with situations where a part of us arises that we never knew we had in us.  It could be something like breaking up with your partner, moving to a different country, standing up for yourself in any situation or just pushing through a barrier that you have in front of you.  We have had practice doing these things - why should a zombie apocalypse be any different?  

Two things to consider when it comes to the zombie apocalypse:  1)  will they really know how to do the thriller dance?  Is it something that is inherently put into zombies, kind of like breathing for humans?  and 2)  I don't know if they will make the greatest shields.  A couple of times in the Walking Dead, logic has failed.  I mean, there are zombies that are basically in pieces, they have holes throughout their body but can still move.  And you can stomp on their heads and crush their skull.  Yet if someone is shooting at you, you can grab a zombie body and use it as a shield.  Really Walking Dead??!! REALLY??!!  This is not believable.  

Moral of this blog:  F*#k It and if the zombie apocalypse arrives, reach in and find that inner strength to survive.  Don't be the blond or the sexy chick.  Unless you be like Alice from Resident Evil. Cause she friggin rocks!!  Find your Inner Alice and persevere.  And do this in all aspects of your life, not just in the zombie apocalypse.