Wednesday, December 16, 2015

To all the assholes, douches and toxic people, I say 'good day to you!'

There is 7.3 billion people on earth.  I know this because I googled and Google never lies.  That is a lot of people.  That means there is roughly 3.65 billion men in the world.  Now, for argument sake, lets say 4/10 guys are actually nice.  And not knowing math, that would be 2.9 billion men are assholes.  That is a lot of assholes. 

I am talking about those people in your life that a) you have no clue why they are in your life; b) you seem to feel bad or frustrated or less than what you should feel after talking to them; c)they only talk to you when they have an issue or problem and d) you have thought to yourself more than once 'why exactly am I friends with this person?'  

I seem to have those people in my life and I try to not be in contact with them.  And it seems like it happens more and more, especially when they think they are happening.  As my mother has said before 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.  Well, that road must be paved in gold with all the good intentions out there.  

People are awesome, don't get me wrong.  I love people.  But only when they actually take the time out to understand you, get to know you and are there for you when you need them to be and vice versa.  Moving back to the country has made me realize that I used to (used to being the key word as I have now stopped communicating with them and I feel so much better by doing so) talk with people who never really listened to me and didn't understand what I was going through or what my life consisted of.  

Prime example is this whole conundrum with my education/experience and working up in Canada as a therapist.  TRUST ME PEOPLE - if it was as simple as applying for my license and getting a job, I would be doing that right now.  You need to trust me on this.  But no.  So many people think that it is that easy.  And when I start explaining to them about my education and how my hours from the States don't transfer up and how I need to find a supervisor for the hours that I will work and how I will have to pay that supervisor for the supervised hours and all this jazz, it is like they don't believe me.  Again, TRUST ME ON THIS.  If it was simplier, I would be doing it.  But instead of actually listening to what I am saying and the frustrations I am feeling, they think it is better to just tell me to 'go ahead and do it then'.  Not that simple.  And if you were listening, you would realize that.  So I am just going to stop talking to you now.  Because you are toxic.  And I refuse to have toxic people in my life.  

Then there are those toxic people who make you feel like they are a good friend, but in truth they are a fair weather friend.  They are there when they need an ear to listen or some advice.  For example, if I am having a bad day and I text said friend, it could be four days until I get a response.  But if they are having a bad day and text me, they can expect a response from me that day.  Totally not a fair deal.  Those friends are the worst.  Because what is worse than having a bad day and not feeling like you have friends there to help and support you through them.  (And I am not saying that all my friends are like that because I totally have kick ass friends that do listen to me and I hope they feel like I listen to them as well).  So to these friends who are only there when they need help, I am just going to stop talking to you.  I am going to stop allowing you to take advantage of me.  Because you are toxic.  And I refuse to have toxic people in my life.  

Now, granted, some toxic people you just can't get rid of.  I am talking about family.  They are kind of with you throughout your life.  You can, however, distance yourselves from them.  Talk to them only when necessary.  Take those steps to protect yourself but you can't get rid of them entirely.  Well you could I guess.  People have in the past.  But personally, I could not.  Even though they could tell me extremely hurtful things (like disown me for example), they are still family.  However, in that sense, I just distance myself.  Build up my defences again, make sure I am in a position where I can be around said family members and then distance myself again.  It is about self preservation.  And not giving a shit when something happens in their life because they shouldn't expect anything from you judging on how they treated you in the past.  So, in terms of dealing with toxic people who you can't necessarily push out of your life, adopt the 'I don't give a shit' mentality.  It helps.  And works. 

By getting rid of toxic people, I have decreased the amount of people I have in my life.  Drastically.  If this was high school, I would be the loner with only a couple of friends.  And guess what, I was that person in high school.  I like quality, not quantity.  It is the same on Facebook. I will go through purges on Facebook - if we haven't posted something on each others wall, commented on a status or a picture in the past x amount of months, then I don't need to be friends with you.  Plain and simple.  I don't care if I have 100 friends or 10 friends.  Those 10 friends are much better people than the 100 combined.  And that is who you need to surround yourself with.  Because those people matter.  Those people will know you.  Will know what you are going through, will know what you want in your life, will know what to do when you need to laugh or smile and will be there with you when you need to cry.  Those people are the people you need in your life. 

Surround yourself with happiness.  Toxic people will drag you down.  They will make you feel like shit.  They will make you feel empty and alone.  And who wants that?  Nobody. Nobody wants that.  So don't get it.  Stand up for yourself and don't worry about the amount of friends you have.  Worry about the quality of friendships.  Because that is what matters.  

Moral of this blog:  F*#k It and say 'fuck you, good day, adios, arrivederci' to all those toxic people in your life.  Surround yourself with happiness. 

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