Thursday, December 3, 2015

When the Zombie Apocalypse hits, Who Will You Be?

I have been watching a lot of The Walking Dead recently (which, if you know me, seems kind of strange and odd since I cannot stand scary movies or people dressed up but for some reason zombie movies or tv shows I am okay with).  Walking Dead is a pretty good show, even though I am not sure if it is *that good* that is has the following and fan base that it does.  However, watching the show has made me question my morals and ethics and my personality and how they would all relate if/when the zombie apocalypse hits us.  

First and foremost, I think that if I (and others) survived the zombie apocalypse, I would make a killing as a therapist because mostly everyone will have PTSD from the event.  I mean, how could you not - you are probably killing people you have known your whole life, have to be aware of what could be around every corner or tree or door or window and basically fend for yourself every waking (and sleeping, but I suggest not sleeping if you could do it) moment of your life.  That has got to take its toll on a person.  

However, after the apocalypse hits, how will that have changed people?  Would they see the world as a place that is going to hell in a handbasket? Will they be grateful of everything they have and the life that they can live?  I really don't know what I would be like.  I would like to think that I would appreciate my life, but how could I not flinch or panic if I am with a boy and he leans in to kiss me and my first instinct is to blow his head off because I think he is trying to eat me?  Lots of counselling will be needed I think.  

During the apocalypse though, what would happen?  I think I would need to get over my fear of everything and not jump or scream when I hear a noise as that for surely would attract the zombies to my location.  My first instinct would be to curl up in the fetal position but that would result in my untimely death.  So if not the fetal position, what would I do/who would I be?  Lets go through the stereotypical characters most often seen in horror movies (I pulled these characters from websites):   
  • The Non-Believer - I think if I saw a rotted corpse come walking towards me, I would believe it was a zombie.  The whole 'seeing is believing' mentality would be shot out of water in an instant.  There are such things as zombies when one is trying to bite your face off.  Start believing in a heartbeat or else you will struggle through the apocalypse.  
  • The couple having sex - well a) I would need to have a boy and b) it would have to be in a very, very secluded spot that has no chance of zombies encountering us.  Cause how bad would that suck to turn into a zombie and be naked.  They aren't that intelligent to be know how to put clothes on.  
    • as a side note to The Walking Dead - how come there aren't any naked zombies?  Are you telling me that whenever people turned/died/whatnot, they were all wearing clothes?  I know for a fact that a lot of people sleep naked.  I find this highly improbable that there are no naked zombies.  
  • The Blonde - well I am blond.  So I have that working against me.  But I would think I have more smarts than the stereotypical blond and actually have the brains to not do dumb shit when facing zombies.  Or just doing dumb shit that could have me facing zombies.  
  • The Jock - I play volleyball.  But unless I am setting the ball to the zombie or throwing the ball in their face, my sports skills wouldn't come in handy.  I also hate running.  And I am pretty sure my knees and hips would give out and I would be zombie bait.  I would be the person that people want to run with so they know they would get away.  
  • The Loner - I like to think myself as a loner but I think when it comes to the zombie apocalypse, it would be better to be in a group.  You need someone who has your back cause it would be a pretty desolate place if it is you against a hundred zombies.  Don't be stupid and find people to help you survive.  
  • The Redneck -  Not me at all.  But definitely would hunt one down to stick with as this guy would make it through with no problems.  
  • The Sexy Bitch -  I wouldn't be running around the world in something sexy.  My first order of business would be to find comfy pants and a tank top or something.  If I am running from zombies, it won't be done in high heels. 
  • The girl that never wants to leave the house - YES!!!! That would totally be me.  Why leave if you are safe?  Besides the fact that a) I would run out of food b) I would run out of water c) I would have no electricity d) I would be all alone e) the zombies could break down my door or window to get to me and then I would be a trapped rat.  So let's rethink this idea.  
So who would I be?  A combination of the above.  But I think my psych brain would be going into overdrive getting people to try to relax and calm down and not go on murderous rampages when they feel like there is no end.  

Sometimes, and not just the zombie apocalypse, we are faced with situations where a part of us arises that we never knew we had in us.  It could be something like breaking up with your partner, moving to a different country, standing up for yourself in any situation or just pushing through a barrier that you have in front of you.  We have had practice doing these things - why should a zombie apocalypse be any different?  

Two things to consider when it comes to the zombie apocalypse:  1)  will they really know how to do the thriller dance?  Is it something that is inherently put into zombies, kind of like breathing for humans?  and 2)  I don't know if they will make the greatest shields.  A couple of times in the Walking Dead, logic has failed.  I mean, there are zombies that are basically in pieces, they have holes throughout their body but can still move.  And you can stomp on their heads and crush their skull.  Yet if someone is shooting at you, you can grab a zombie body and use it as a shield.  Really Walking Dead??!! REALLY??!!  This is not believable.  

Moral of this blog:  F*#k It and if the zombie apocalypse arrives, reach in and find that inner strength to survive.  Don't be the blond or the sexy chick.  Unless you be like Alice from Resident Evil. Cause she friggin rocks!!  Find your Inner Alice and persevere.  And do this in all aspects of your life, not just in the zombie apocalypse. 

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